Why Does Ayahuasca Allow Shamans to Use Her for Abuse?

We’ve all heard the sordid tales of Ayahuasca ceremonies gone horribly wrong. Yes, her reputation of a Mother who is unafraid of dishing out serious tough love is oh so real. But there are two ways the ceremonies go sideways. Sometimes the medicine just knows it’s our turn to get our passports stamped in hell, and so the internal journey can get immensely difficult and frightening. That actually manifests the opportunity for profound awakening and healing. But sometimes the people that lead the ceremonies – people that we trust with our spiritual and physical lives – act out in abusive and traumatic ways, creating a nightmare situation for unsuspecting participants.

There’s an integral question I hear all the time in this work that needs further exploration: Why would Ayahuasca, a medicine we say is loving, benevolent, and maternal, allow people to use her to harm others?

The answer is as complex as the medicine herself.

 Ayahuasca Does Not Prevent the Expression of our Humanness

One of the fallacies regarding Ayahuasca is this prevalent assumption that she has the power to circumvent free will. Free will is a universal law, and even the most potent psychotropic medicine on Earth cannot eradicate our ability to choose for ourselves. Ayahuasca makes us more of ourselves, she doesn’t take over and dictate the choices we make, nor the way we show up in the world. Instead, she supports what we are telling ourselves, she amplifies aspects of our shadows, and she wholly uplifts us into taking action based on our beliefs and stories.

Why would she support someone who uses her for harm? Because she is not here to prevent the truth of our karma. She does not wish to stop our journey as a soul, anchored in Earth School, learning amazing and painful lessons about consciousness and love.

The hard truth is that many of the choices we make that are not aligned with love and goodness are in fact our greatest teachers. So MamaAya supports our shadowy, mean-spirited projections and actions as much as our love-filled ones. She’s the Queen of Duality, and she knows that every choice, every action, and every belief leads us to something bigger. This includes our journeys through the hellish and transformative energies of the darkness.

Ayahuasca Needs Partners, Not Slaves

Another reason Mama Medicine shows patience and compassion for the human expression of shadow is that she loves us enough to empower us to make our own decisions. Aya needs sovereign, consciousness, and potent partners as her human carriers, not passive people who give their lives and free will over to her. She has better things to do than to guide and direct every aspect of her children’s lives. Instead, she teaches us to trust ourselves. She helps us learn the difference between an egoic motivation and a heart-led one. She assists in supporting us when our intuition leads us to what is hard, much to the ego’s dismay.

Ayahuasca expands consciousness. She empowers and strengthens all who work with her. And because she does not reproduce, she instead recruits. Those folks she calls to walk this path with her need to be highly trusting of their own intuition, and powerful enough to make heart-informed decisions. Sometimes it’s a damn bumpy road to find that soulful connection. The good news is she’s patient, and we literally have all the time in the multiverse to figure it out.

The Repercussions for Abusing Ayahuasca, and Her Tribe

Ok, yes, Ayahuasca – and the multiverse – loves us unconditionally and give us all the time and space we need to evolve. She does not judge us when we act from fear or anger instead of love. But that doesn’t mean intentional abuse has zero repercussions. Karma is always, always watching. And so is MamaAya.

If there’s one expression Ayahuasca has said to me more than any other it’s this:

The person that holds the highest level of consciousness in any scenario holds the highest responsibility.

What this means is – it is a profound, indescribable blessing to heal and to expand our awareness, but we do not get such grace and growth without also being accountable.

When we are young souls full of ignorance and naïvet, we can act out, become destructive and even hurtful, and there is more spaciousness and less karmic reflections. Why? Because we literally don’t know better, and this is in part how we learn. Fall ten times, get up eleven.

But anyone who is fortunate enough to work with Ayahuasca has experienced at least some level of consciousness expansion. This is true for anyone on the spiritual journey doing the work to heal and evolve. This evolution is what makes life so rich, so meaningful, so all-out joyful. The only cost is the work it takes to attain such expansion, and the responsibly of how to honor it with all the thoughts, choices, and actions we take moving forward.

So let’s create a hypothetical Ayahuasquero named Charlie. Charlie has apprenticed for five years in his chosen tradition, completed multiple Master Plant Diets and assisted in dozens of ceremonies. Charlie’s doing the work, and has experienced profound healing of his own. But the accolades and sexiness of the path starts to inflate his ego. It begins innocently enough; he starts taking credit for some of the magical moments that happen when he’s behind the altar. He answers questions about what a shaman really sees and knows a little less than truthful, confirming he was aware of things he had no clue about. This begins to grow and grow.

If Charlie doesn’t course correct and own his egoic delusion, the more he works with the medicine the more she might reflect and amplify his grandiosity. Not because she’s confirming it’s true, but because she treats our egos like balloons sometimes, helping to inflate them until they inevitably go POP. So Charlie might wholly believe Ayahuasca agrees with and supports he’s arrogant notions, but no one loves a divine set up more that Mama Medicine.

Maybe Charlie gets more inflated and starts kicking into Guru Syndrome. Who knows how far it has to go, and yes, how many people might get hurt, in order for Charlie to wake up to his ignorance. But what goes up. . .

Charlie will get his karma. Whether it manifests as a mental breakdown, his world falling apart, the medicine pulling the plug on his access and opportunity to work with her, a nightmarish romp through her altered space, other people holding him accountable, or all of the above. But it’s nobody else’s business about HOW and WHEN Charlie gets to experience the light of truth. That’s between him, the medicine, and the universe.

I’ve witnessed a lot of abuse in this space, including sexual assault while under the influence of the medicine. I have received unwanted sexual advances, black magic, and various intentional attempts at harm. Eventually, everyone who uses Ayahuasca for abusive acts does get their unique form of firm, reflected karma – either through life, in death, or both. It’s never, ever easy to witness. But I am personally grateful I’ve been blessed to see such truths reflected as it’s shown me what’s at stake here, how real karma is, and how absolutely essential it is to come from love, as best we can. The other way of learning is just too damn painful.

Now let’s explore the big important question I hear on the regular: Why would Ayahuasca support innocent people getting hurt by arrogant, delusional medicine carriers?

Ayahuasca Wants us to Awaken. And She Does Not Protect Us From Our Destinies.

Just as Mama Aya does not prevent those who choose to cause harm from doing so, nor does she prevent us from learning in an unsafe container. When I first began my work with her, I naively assumed that Ayahuasca would protect me from anything. The authorities, those who wanted to do me harm, even myself.

I was woefully, dramatically incorrect.

A good mother, she told me, does not protect her children from the world, she gives us the tools to protect ourselves. But if we’re asleep at the wheel or have some karma around martyrdom or a belief that healing has to be hard, she cannot protect us from the lessons we came to learn. And thank goodness, or we wouldn’t actually learn them!

This is why there is so much abuse and darkness and shamans who go rogue and harm people in the Ayahuasca medicine space. It’s because she loves us SO MUCH she supports and even amplifies the lessons we came to learn. She knows we can handle it. She knows this is precisely why we are living in Earth School to begin with. So please don’t blame Ayahuasca that her carriers can be delusional and abusive. This is just humanity’s journey.

Do be discerning. Do love yourselves enough to trust your instincts if someone does not feel honest or safe. Do ask lots of questions and fully vet anyone you trust in this space. And do give yourself permission to leave any tribe or circle if the facilitators start to use abusive tactics or lose integrity. Life’s too short to learn in unsafe containers.

Don’t look to the medicine to protect you. We protect ourselves, as best we can – but we don’t know what we don’t know. This means that sometimes we learn the hard way. That’s one of the core lessons of Earth School.

Be well out there journeyers. Thank you for reading!

If you are healing from a past ceremony trauma and need help, or have sat in unsafe spaces and wish to learn how to better protect yourself, I’d love to work with you and help you feel more empowered and sovereign. Click here to book a session – much love to you tribe!

About the Author

Tina “Kat” Courtney, The Afterlife Coach, has worked as an Ayahuasca and Huachuma shaman for almost 2 decades . Kat is a vocal advocate for all Plant Medicines and sacred spaces, and for the proper integration of peak experiences. Additionally, Kat works with people confronting issues around death, fear, trauma, and shadow as an Ayahuasca Coach and Shamanic Therapist. She’s a transformational junkie with a major love of polarities, and she adores helping others love their darkness too.